previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
so you guys found yourselves walking down some stairs and the steps descend to a walkway that
appears to stretch across infinite space so it's heaven are these constellations and things
we're seeing the same different ones as we saw when we were in the maze all new and exciting
like we're in a different different other different space god damn portal jumping
zonthal's tower maze business all right i i open that door you see two massive hour glasses
that occupy this irregularly shaped chamber slumped against the wall at the far side of
the chamber is the cultist who called to you from the balcony of the tower his dark
robes are charred and torn and a blue dragon mask is clutched in his red stained hands okay
i'm gonna hustle over there and check for a pulse there is no pulse there's no sign of breath
i mean it seems a little anticlimactic he's just here and he's just dead you begin to
walk down this hallway that curves to the left as you walk and you begin to see a light
shining out as the corridor opens into a room set with comfortable looking oversized
furnishing in the center of the room a red-skinned creature wearing armor of flame bronze and
volcanic stone sits cross-legged on the floor he looks up and he lets a big smile across
his face and he says hello welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons we are dnd fifth edition actual
play podcast and i'm your dungeon master Russ More and with me today is Amy More
yeah did you know that probably best way of being avoided like avoiding getting murdered in your
sleep is by keeping your eyes closed and still pretending to sleep when you think you hear an
intruder fun fact also i play yeah i'm estasia these are the thoughts that i have when i wake
up at 2 a.m and think i hear something i just close my eyes and i'm all like nobody no axe
murderer wants to just kill someone in their bed while they're sleeping they want you to
like get up and run and stuff so i assumed they would just come over loom over your bed and i'd
be like peaceful is all ghetto and then and then they wouldn't kill me hey there are other
people on this podcast too and their names are carla johnson so when i'm in the shower by
myself continue i sometimes will sing like a really upbeat song because i think sort of
the same thing like no one could murder me to this song it's so like peppy and fun like no
one can axe murder me when i'm like grooving this radly and i find you laura moonbrook
and i can't wait for his tale tom laird you know i sometimes think along the same lines as carla
that no one's gonna murder you to a peppy upbeat song but then a little movie came along called
american psycho and that totally nipped that theory right in the bud because that huey lewis
tune is a banger and yet jared leto still gets totally axe murdered and i play flint fire
beard hashtag last time carla takes a shower
you've ruined showers for showers are done it's over goodness so i'm not sure what turn that
all of this has taken but you should go to facebook.com and go check out our group over
there and for this kind of amazing pretty solid gold stuff in the news song into our
facebook thing that we have for our spotify music list because i'll forget that we mentioned huey
lewis in the news and forget to put it in there so you can go remind me thank you for doing that
you're totally welcome so we play Dumbgeons and Dragons at some point i mean once in a while
i mean this is i think the longest it's taken to get through just the introductions
that is certainly i think it's the introductions you're right maybe one
of our most unique introductions but it's okay we're gonna get we're gonna get right to it now
we're because we're gonna roll right into it and talk about uh our patron of the episode
no you know what we've noticed how popular murder related podcasts are so now that's what
we are we're a murder related murder adjacent podcast res i tried i was so good that was
good that was a good setup and it was teed up and i thought tom was going to take it away
you know what tom did tom came up it's a t-ball and he just kicked it from underneath the ball
so it's as i was swinging the ball i did the old lucy with the football and just ripped it away
from him so yeah you can find us on Patreon i think is where we're going with that Patreon.com
slash dumb dragon cast where for just a buck you can get some sweet murder podcasts yeah true
and where we where we play games uh we're well i mean we murder hey we certainly murder people
they are definitely murdering people and the second one it's it's very mysterious and
thriller like and there may be who knows what's happening there there could be plenty of
murders could be you're gonna be sock puppets you don't know subscribe to find out um but
also you get an episode dedicated to you and today's episode is dedicated to the lovely
cat water flame hey thanks cat thank you you're awesome feel free to tell us what song you
don't want to be murdered to on the facebook group oh i'd love to know i mean any song
but like the one you think protects you good facebook starters happening within the episode
i really like we'll forget by the time we're done recording and then they're gonna come out
we're gonna be excited you know what that does though that passes the buck off to the
listener right to go start that thread yeah all those great people in that group that always
do start good threads they're just delights aren't they they really are so wonderful i mean part of
being a patron is also getting homework every good day that's true true so yep yeah if you
want to pay us money to do work for us sign up come on come on you studious patrons
it's like you're part of your notebooks yeah you become just part of the podcast it's
just a good thing fuck it let's play dnd yay yay previously you guys spent oh it was almost
like we spent two whole episodes talking about hourglasses almost like but forgetting the name
hourglass yep so as you head down the corridor light shines out ahead and flint was the first
one to get to the opening of this chamber that had comfortable looking oversized furnishings
in the center of the room and a red-skinned hulking creature wearing armor of flame and bronze
and volcanic stones sits cross-legged on the floor studying a chessboard hello there and as
you stand staring at the room he says pardon me excuse my manners my name is terrasse the fair
and who are you uh hey terrasse uh flint Firebeard here lovely to meet you flint
he extends a hand and i gladly shake it as he extends the hand everybody kind of catches
up behind you thea you see along the threshold of the room as flint is about to step into the
room a line of what looks like sand or salt flint wait what's up just this doesn't look
right um can i roll to just like roll like um maybe uh i don't know i'll like to roll
and i don't know like an arcana like if i know what this is like if it's for like a spell i
rolled a uh 22 uh you definitely see that it's salt okay but do i know different spells but
she doesn't know is that like containing him come on she's magic as fuck she probably
knows i'm zero percent magic in real life and i carla johnson know salt means something
salt's usually yeah it's some sort of barrier yeah there you go thank you right we know our
lore we know stuff we know things we've seen hocus pocus tis the season it is okay so
with a 22 you see the salt across the barrier but you also look further into the room and
see that at least from the view that you have that it extends around the perimeter of this room
was it uh taraz you said yes yes and he leans forward a little further i have to ask her as
what's with the salt on the floor he looks down oh yes yes the salt well you see my friend
uh flint it was right that's that's correct yep right yes um i've been trapped here
for quite some time by none other than the great xanthor oh well this must have been a
while then because he has not been around for a long time i have been you have no idea
how long i have been here by myself playing chess by myself he trapped me here which
removed my powers just to be his little puppet playing this game of chess can i do
a history check to see if i know exactly how long it's been how long xanthor has been dead
yeah is that what you're looking for yeah absolutely all right oh nat 20 well that's a waste
you know fucking everything about xanthor it is unbelievable i should know god damn everything
about xanthor though you actually have a xanthor tattoo it's nuts you are like number one fan
pull out a little mole scan and i'm like let me flip to my xanthor pages uh yeah we'll say that
xanthor has been deceased i mean we've never really set a year but i mean xanthor has been
deceased for somewhere between 150 to 200 years so almost uh 200 years you've been down here hey
oh has it been that long already uh yeah that's what i'm telling you yes yes it's been that
long yeah hey sorry uh yeah amastasia um lovely to meet you as well yes so i'm just i'm just
getting a vibe here so you just seem like a real open guy of course one of us walks over this
barrier yes place chess with you the winner leaves okay well is that how it works is this
how are you trying to escape like i think she's asking if we're going to be trapped
after we cross over this salt it was is imbued with to keep me behind the salt i i don't believe
it's for anybody else so why was that you see xanthor had an affinity with elementals and
genies and all that sort of thing and i being the great taraz the fair was quite the
the trophy piece so to speak he wanted to study my connection with the elements and that was
that was it and he trapped me here he didn't like do anything he didn't deserve it yeah can
i roll to see if he actually is fair sure what do you what do you okay like fair in looks or
fair in temperament what are we going for here exactly like history like do i do i know
about this guy probably not but i worked in a library oh fuck off with your library roll
for your library fuck off with your backstory amy how dare you i know right how dare i use my
motherfucking backstory 14 this specific elemental you probably haven't heard of
what makes you so fair i have the power to grant wishes to those who so desire
so you're a genie oh i have similar powers to a gene yes oh this is like your bottle
i suppose oh okay i get it now i was very confused by that comment initially
i was with you thank you i was right there with you sorry was this the only path for us to go
like like just can we just leave him here just curious out of what were you down here for
oh we were trying to find our friend who was down here trying to escape and so we came down
looking for him your friend oh well there was someone not too long before you came down
a wizard perhaps of sorts longish brown hair doesn't ring a bell did he did he tell you
his name no he did he did much the same came down this way and i i asked him to come in
and stay but he he looked very panicked and ran the other direction was he holding anything
you know he was holding something it looks perhaps like a mask might have been blue
perhaps a tinge of green it's a little bit darker down here oh yeah we found him that
was our friend oh you found him yeah and is he all right he didn't look well oh no he's
very dead yeah he's definitely dead now just to clarify we're not cold evil monsters he wasn't
so much our friend as a person we were looking for sounds bad of course our friend
and then be like yeah oh no super dead soup's dead super dead i get it it's fine i understand
i understand it was just out for the money i i totally get you uh but i'm very sorry to
i mean trying to save the world isn't really out for the money but all right like i mentioned
before flint i've been stuck down here for nearly 200 years how do we get a wish all you
have to do is break the salt and it allows me to have my powers back so what i'm seems
like a bad idea yeah why didn't our friend break the salt and cure his um his affliction
and panic this i don't know people in with great desire to to hide and he looked like
he was trying to escape something perhaps he was panicking i don't always think the most
clearly um i i kind of huddle around them and i was like guys i want to wish for guacamole
i know but i i totally get it but what we need to remember is that the cult was here they
knew this guy was here and the cult didn't let him out like how bad is this dude that
the cult of the dragon wasn't trying to get him working for him like fair enough i guess
that's a pretty fair comment i have a question about your wishes yes my dear so can you wish
for people like back from the dead people to fall in love like are there any limits to your
wishes like is there anything you can't do i mean a wish is a wish i have i have endless
power and can do anything that's factually correct he's got you there except i mean a
wish is a wish the salt now if we just step over this salt does that mean you're still imprisoned
yes as a matter of fact it does can i roll a deception check on that russ see if i get any
like weird vibes from him or if he's straight up are you looking to deceive him about stepping
over the salt oh my god another fucking crit this is serious i'm wasting all my good ones
which part are you looking to figure out the insight for okay uh mainly i just want to know
if we can enter the the salt uh and if he's still contained and maybe if there's still some
insight left over if his wishes are wishes comment seems true give me also a either a history or an
arcana check as well to go along with that okay i'll do history because that's much better
for me than arcana all right let me just are arcana the wrong is it arcana oh it's all the
same shit arcana arcana it's all it's just like tomato tomato you know it's it's just
uh that's 17 17 russ okay so you get the sense um that what he's telling you is probably not true
in that uh elementals don't have the ability to grant wishes yeah that seemed crazy right off
the top you also get the sense that whatever is binding him here might be keeping him here
but probably isn't stopping whatever power he does have it's merely contained within
within the salt okay so we definitely get the sense that he could fucking nuke us if we walked
in there if he so wanted to i won't put it in so many words but you get the sense
that something's wrinkly okay
a little wrinkle there's a wrinkle in time guys guys if you can help us get guacamole back i
i i worry that this is my only shot i i don't know where she is i'm kind of freaking out
what do you think should i go in it just seems so risky although i know that
my word isn't worth a lot right now but i want you to get guac back but
i don't know it's so weird that he's in here and they weren't using him and
just seems risky uh taraz i have a few more questions about these wishes
that you say you're able to grant yes master flint um it doesn't seem like it's maybe
100 truthful on your end so maybe level with me about that and we'll see what we can do about
breaking that salt okay okay i mean you yourself stated that xanthal loved elementals yes and i
mean when we asked if you were a genie you kind of skirted around that fact so nobody
here thinks he are so like what's what's with these wishes that you're promising
well you seem to have caught me in my own ruse to try and free myself
i don't get it you're trapped you're gonna say whatever you can say to like get people in here
but i just like what's the deal here xanthal has as as prisoned me down here had prisoned me
down here imprisoned me down here is the word i'm looking for that's one i'm a very
intelligent being clearly i can tell by your voice yes very real and you're correct in that
the dealings that i've had with people have been fruitless to this point in order to escape so i
might have bent the truth a little bit and it it pains me to say so and i regret my decision
to do that why wouldn't anyone let you out before i mean would you let a giant fire elemental
clad in armor with a scimitar this size and he holds up a massive scimitar that's larger
than any of you uh it's not really the size that counts and i turn around and i walk out
i'm trying to be on the level with you via via what are the names of your friends
so why the name the fair if you're kind of lying all the time here that doesn't seem like
someone who's fair would would behave that way many years ago i was fair and just in the fight
for for freedoms and righteous abilities to bring peace to the world and whose freedoms are those
oh i'm Nulara by the way oh pleasure i've been meaning to get around the room here to
to do formal introductions that is flamey kens now we've all been introduced yeah hey mother
so who were you fighting to protect many many people i was i was no but like specifically
i was a a hired hand in the great blood war you know the blood war don't you oh yes the war of
blood i mean rings of l roll a history check i was gonna say do we know what that is i thought
maybe 22 20 i just remembered something oh we know everything about the blood wars well
mine wasn't i have a real good history bonus so the blood war and pretty much everybody has
knows or has heard of the blood war is the constant fight between devils and demons
between the abyss and the nine hells there's a oftentimes breaking points between them and
they fight each other back in hopes that the other doesn't take over and then break
through to rule the world so he says yes i think i was it was a hired hand in the
great blood war and i was on the devil's side to prevent those horrid demons from
coming out of the abyss and wrecking shit for everyone i mean so you're from the nine hells
i mean i stayed there for a little while yes yes i mean you realize we think demons and
devils are both bad news right yes i would understand why but you should know that
the the fight between the two oftentimes you want the more lawful and organized evils in charge of
the the under realms such as the abyss and the nine hells demons they're terrible creatures
terrible they just they just want to murder everything whereas devils there's a little more
give and take so what you're saying is you're not going to let me out then i mean it really
doesn't seem like we should please don't feel like i want to like i want to find my owl but
good gravy you haven't really given us any kind of no you actually lied to us to try to trick
us into letting you fly which makes us want to do it even less he couldn't just perhaps just
with one foot just push the salt a little to the just a little to break it like maybe someone
might sneeze by accident is that what you're kind of thinking maybe you small goblin you
could do it fuck off dude i ain't doing that shit all right i mean you heard the lady do
you have a good reason other than you want us to other than wanting my freedom back going home
to my eleven thousand children of elemental form no no good reasons so you're just gonna go
back to hell all right see you later i bid i bid you adieu fair fair adventurers
in hopes that someday i too shall be free listen we have a lot on our play right now
maybe after we stop the rise of Tiamat we'll come back and let you out and then we can battle it
out and devils versus demons versus the human and other humanoid races another time do you
mean it yes i mean really you guys would do that for me okay is she actually telling the
truth or is she trying to deceive him i mean it doesn't really matter but okay well just
throw me a deception oh um 20 you you would do that for for me to razz for sure t baby we got
you oh that is the kindest thing anybody has said to me i don't believe it worth fucking salt
but um all right always salt with this guy salt salt salt always salt it is my weakness as it
turns out well till next time good friends i'm sure i will find some other poor soul to
to trick into uh letting me free but it won't be you today not not today again if you could
have come yeah i mean just something but you just i got really latched into the whole
oh poor me i'm a poor genie wow maybe less self-deprecation more like future plans okay
yeah i like it and like 20 more earnest bribes you can follow through on not wishes that you
clearly came to jay what if we'd asked for a test that seems like a i just i'm not sure
about your logic you seem intelligent you do i do i do have this voice um i mean i did tell
you that my powers were taken away by the salt so i mean that would have caught your test
in a little bit of a loophole for a little while but it doesn't but we kind of figured
out that your powers still exist if i had known you were such high level adventurers i wouldn't
have stood i wouldn't have worried about that all right well it's been nice knowing you
i mean once you want to carry on this conversation for a little while you seem to just want to
leave me here but you're just hanging around in the doorway i mean i do have one question
oh yes how do you play chess by yourself i mean you sit in in one large seat and he sits down
in one large seat squeaking leather and then you make a move oh yes and then you stand up
and you slowly walk to the other side yeah but i mean uh t-baby as uh thea calls you there
i just you already know your own moves so isn't this just the most pointless thing in the world
welcome to my own personal hell good sir flint i i dig inside my bag and i find a deck of cards
and i throw a deck of cards carefully over the salt not breaking or there's no wind
there's a breeze to bother the salt but i throw a deck of cards into his salty prison
and he picks them up what am i to do with these you you play with them you can play some
solitaire how do you play solitaire well actually if you look at the front card
it explains the rules of solitaire it's a solitaire specific deck of cards and
poker but you can't play poker with with just a singular person it seems you have given me
another hell to endure it's better than free sell though if i ever get out of here i will
be someone you will rule to your death unless we come in yeah i mean we said unless you come
and help me out yes i was just you know tomato tomato no that's not me to your death
or release me and we will be friends forever and i mean terese we got a real big like
demon dragon queen to worry about so we're probably gonna be dead before that ever shows
up anyway so what did i tell you those demons they are just the shits i mean you heard it
here first you know what if we need your help maybe we'll come back and let you out oh so
when you need me when we need you we'll let you out do you not want us to let you out if we need
you no i'd love you to let me out right now i mean i can help how i have this big sword
oh god never mind guys i have the strength of a thousand men what kind of men children men you
don't even know guys we are wasting time i we are wasting time this is let's get the
fuck out of here it was nice to meet you ah pleasure to meet you dear thira it's thea
that's what i said i turn and i leave i'm not no more lara that is flamey kens you have a lovely
day dragon too yes dragon you i yell from the hall i'm like come on we're coming we're coming
this guy rook to queen six four i don't know if that's a move but that's what i'm doing
i actually don't even know how to play chess
horsey man to the pointy guy
tallest one tiny people protecting the big ones
hey there i'm your dungeon master Russ More thanks for joining us for episode 58 of
Dumbgeons and Dragons where are my manners thanks for another awesome week of sharing
and talking about the show we had a bunch of new amazing reviews on apple podcasts that
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can today big thanks to sirenscape for some of the amazing atmosphere and music in this
episode make sure you check them out at sirenscape.com to bring your games to life
links for everything mentioned today can be found in the description below and the next
episode will be out wednesday october 24th let's get back to the episode though
have a great week we'll talk soon
okay where to now what's happening i we were at the end of a hall there so yeah you head
back down the hallway what else do we see and you get back towards the t intersection and so
you have endless infinite space or the hourglass room or the closet or back to terrasse
it's an endless infinite space just like that from where we came yeah it's the
pathways over the stars and stuff yeah can we can we get back up through that staircase that
we came down into the room that had infinite space because there was another exit i just made
a split decision to go down the stairs oh yes yes there was there was one at the top of
the stairs let's do that yeah okay get out of the terrasse voice
yes yes yes basically the only way to go from here is back over the the rainbow bridge
yeah um what no and well yeah that's right because we have to dodge all the
fucking meteors yep yep um and then it goes back up the stairs and then there was the
room with the elementals with the uh hallway that took you back to where there was the
teleportation circle and then there was another door that flint split decision following the
bloody footsteps down and across the rainbow road bridge yeah right so you head back out
and you see the stars and everything around you and there's comets zipping by
and you make it back across into the top of the stairs and you see
into the room and the elementals are frozen in place where they were you last left them as you
ran from the room and then to your right now is a a narrow hallway sorry a 10-foot hallway
that leads into another chamber all right i'll be i'll be first we'll head down that hallway
you head down the hallway and into it looks like a study there's a large simple desk with
several ink pots quill pens and a single chair that occupy the center of this otherwise
empty room see it's time to shine yeah can i make a perception check
yes uh tom roll me a straight d20 you make a perception check okay i got a 14
15 you find yourselves looking at the the desk and you see writings for uh for different
spell books perhaps from xanthel himself the ink pots are all dried up and that's uh that's all
you see there quill pens they are they are exquisitely fashioned still look usable i take
some of the quill pens sure you have three quill pens and what else do we see in this
room other than the desk just like books and stuff is there any other exits uh no other
exits it is a sealed room and no no other books any of the papers look interesting you said that
they were for maybe spells yeah can we do like an investigation check see if maybe we see the
name taraz written on anything um super interested about this trans guy yeah you look
through and um there there's like scrawled notes that have been scratched out um it
looks like perhaps a lot of what was there was taken and this was just his writing room
so it's quite literally it's just an empty room with some papers some scrolled and scratched
out notes uh no no mention of taraz anything on the walls that would indicate maybe like a
secret passage like any sconces yeah uh no bare walls damn no sconces bricks that i could
tap harry potter style different colored bricks yeah to get into the diagon alley roll an investigation
oh my god it was a crit fail nothing looks too i'm just tapping on the wall like an
asshole you guys are like um yeah nothing nothing looks like it would uh move it is
an otherwise empty room with a single chair table no more pens anymore uh and papers and
dried up ink hey guys what's our what's our plan here why don't we just teleport back
to the entrance and see if we can find guacamole there we have the mask is candor's dead
taraz is a bit of a dick let's get out of here do you hear from down the hall
i'm not a dick he's like down four hallways and through like the fucking rainbow bridge but
an elemental is staring is amazing mind your own fucking business i will murder you good
friend not if i murder you first okay let's go you guys yeah that seems like a good call
all right so back and you're at the doorway to the uh the we'll call it the elemental chamber
and they're frozen they as when you first entered this area uh they appear frozen in place
okay frozen in place not like frozen not frozen just like not moving right like when you
immobilized immobilized okay how far is it from the entrance that we're going to be coming
in into the other exit it is 10 feet and there is one earth elemental that you would have to pass
by that would be in vicinity okay so if i were to engage this earth elemental while everyone
ran past me would that be a doable option for people you're going to need to roll initiative
but yeah you could just like ready it too but if it attacks you're ready to attack it if it
attacks then you right then you fight it you don't have to just stand yeah but i'm assuming
as soon as we cross the threshold of the room it will come alive oh i'm sure you're right
this seems very likely that's how it happened when you first entered the room yeah yeah
they're they're not different if you if you avoid them once you're good to go
that's it yeah okay so last time we came in this room these things sprung to life there's one
that's kind of in the way so i think i'll engage it in combat and hopefully everyone can
run past and then i will disengage and follow suit everybody down with the plan down like a
clown man let's run for our lives all right let's do it everybody roll initiative new laura
i'll take the one furthest away you take the closest one and then somehow we'll try and
you know keep them busy while everyone runs past sounds like a good plan all right let's go
all right flint you're up first okay i do like a big old like video game combo style move
where i have like a big side uh swipe sort of thing followed by an upper cut and then
like a big thrust with my axe because there's a bit shiny shiny bit on the end there sliding
into the room with sweet style you connect with the earth elemental with three solid hits as it
starts to come to life and pieces of it are flying off new laura well i mean i i just get
that one hit so it's not so amazing but i guess i'm using dragon slayer so i'm just
gonna come and kind of you know slice into its left side you slice true as the earth elemental
is turning towards flint as he was the first one taking out a big chunk of its middle and
it swings back and you dodge and lose your bAlydince on your second swing which is why it
misses donnie uh okay donnie's gonna try and see if he can get his breath back and he did
breathe fire at an elemental donnie flies in behind you and connects he hits both of the earth
elementals that despite not being really anything that can set fire maybe there's
like some twigs and stuff in with them that set ablaze and uh they take a step back one
of the earth elementals swings at flint the one that he was fighting with so as it takes
this huge cone blast of fire it swings down and crushes into your armor with one of the
thaddeus in the commotion begins to run forth and he makes it up the hallway as the earth
elemental crashes into the wall behind him and is now standing between the two doorways
the earth elemental that new laura is fighting swings two huge crushing blows but
misses and hits the ground on both sides of you as you dodge out of the way flamey kens as the
fire elemental kind of hits the wall and swirls there is a brief opening and she leaps through
it and manages to get up and into the hallway as well via via runs forward and wild shapes
into a winter wolf again you follow quickly behind flamey kens but the opening closes
a little bit and you get singed but you make it to the hallway back to flint i will disengage
and make a break for it yeah um you have a clear shot to the hallway you run quickly up
you laura uh i'm gonna try and do the same thing okay donnie's doing the same thing
yeah you both disengage and follow quickly behind flint as the wall of flame
closes quickly behind you and you are all up the hallway into the teleport chamber
i shake off some of my singed fur well that was a close one oh you got singed you
shouldn't have fallen so closely behind me oh i growl at her yeah sorry okay you guys let's go
all right yeah let's do this you all pile into the teleport chamber where do you where what do
you push oh the triangle was a sundial um which i'm sure last time we could walk to the exit
from there that is correct yeah so the the right triangle you all pile into the
teleportation circle and press the right angled triangle and a final wash of the white
light and energy courses over you and you find yourselves back in the sundial room
um and you begin to hear a terrible sound of villagers screaming a dragon roaring and
lightning bolts tearing through the houses in the city yeah we run toward yeah and i assume
all also kind of looking up to see if once we get away from the like portal bullshit of the
sundial area if guacamole is out there yeah
you run towards the city and you exit and there is the brief reprieve of a
lovely sculpted garden but then mayhem behind as you look up and you see a large blue dragon
and three red dragons swooping and burning up the city you see smoldering off in the
distance the wreckage of the airship and Nulara and thea you look up and you see
the blue dragon and you get a closer look and this blue dragon is lenathan the dragon you
remember fighting in greenest a long long time ago oh wow that's way back and then you look
off to the south and you see a red dragon swooping and you hear
a call and you see guacamole swoop towards the dragon's face and dig her claws
into its open eye that's my girl yeah hashtag family guac
you got food stuck in your mouth do you need a do you need some floss floss break
floss break you're just gonna make some awkward mouth noises perfect tasley's
not making them so somebody asked you everyone loves to listen to that oh people do love mouth
noises on podcasts in their earbuds yeah it's a it's a whole asmr thing that we're so we're
now we're murder and asmr oh man we're gonna be rich you guys the m in asmr stands for
murder oh yeah a sound murder i mean you guys are joking but i'm gonna leave that in there
is someone's cell phone going off i can hear someone's cell phone yeah okay can you hear
that too yeah okay good i thought it was my computer breaking because i'm in an isolated
cabin in the middle of the woods legitimately i've never seen a horror movie that starts that way
please don't get murdered oh my god there's two dogs here they'll protect me or at least they'll
bark so people think they're intimidating good enough hopefully fingers crossed i think carl is
the one who spends the most time in the woods because we've had this conversation on
a previous podcast when you were at a cabin in the woods yeah oh yeah that was a different
one that was more like near the beach this one's near a river so that one was more
likely to be murdered this one i'm like yeah house sitting it's less like a vacation
the end of carla's long list of favors for other people right it's true no more favors
no more favors 2019 no more favors oh good that means there's still time in 2018 perfect
yeah there's a few months left guys i really i don't know if this might be the only way to
get guacamole back you didn't insight i know okay i'm i i had previously just said i want to
wish for guacamole and now i'm telling them sorry i think this might be i thought you were
leading the insight no and i know that wasn't me and like as a as a character i think flint
really would like her to get guacamole back so maybe he won't tell her this information if
there's a chance that we can get this owl back like maybe we should take it
it okay so sorry i'm sorry take off again i'm sorry you sorry just edit character you know
he's lying and you're well i know something i know something's weird but like if there's a
chance that we can like hoodwink this guy into getting your fucking owl back maybe we should
take it out told you elementals don't cast wishes i was gonna go in there and wish for my
owl back okay i won't say anymore words edit it doesn't make any difference that's true take
all the time you need guys have you ever heard the alphabet sung like that before
it's quite majestic um i was i was often oh goodness all of a sudden i can't hear you
yeah we can hear you yes thumbs up we can hear carla can you not yet no you can't hear us
should you try leaving skype and coming back into skype she can't hear you can't hear you
right
like you know she can't hear you do you rush towards it or do you go back
well Dumbgeons and dragons is a dumb dragons production